Wow!! What a ride this has been. Yes, it's been quite a while since I've blogged, posted anything, or have had time/desire to do so (really sad, I know). Long and short of it:
We attended the IBC Music Festival, Music Conference in Indianapolis, Indiana back in April of this year. Let me say, that is was more than I had expected. Great clinicians, great music, and lots of useable music that will work at my local church. We all had fun (myself, my wife, bass player, drummer & sound lady), and learned a lot.
Sadly, since that time, our church has been going through a storm. A few families have left our church on bad terms, and others have been going through storms of their own, including myself & family. This has been a growing time for myself & family....and half of my musicans and praise team. My wife & I, main drummer & his wife, including my assistant & his wife were all asked to take a seat during this time, due to....well....all of use making a mistake or three.
We've all learned a lot and, I feel, have grown a lot due to this, but it's been hard. I've learned to love my wife, and I feel we've grown much closer in the last few months. You really learn to lean on each other, and feel for one another when a trial has crossed your path.
If nothing else, the biggest part of my learning has been to see what an intrical part I play in our church, and how many people really rely on what I(we) do. I never really saw it, as I've just do what I do, and have for the last 9 years. Now that I've been forced to sit, I have been able to look, listen, and see what I do, who it affects, and how much of an impact it makes. It really makes you appreciate it all.
I've also learned that.....I've been way to easy on my department. When something isn't played or sung exactly the way it should be (or how I believe it should be), then I've just said, "That sounds good," and moved along. Instead of taking the time to stop what is happening and saying, "No, that's not it, let's try it again" And then continue to do so until it sounds right. What's the consequence of my actions?? Astounding!! I've seen my team, who have been singing & playing the same songs for years, not know their parts or the music. Songs in a minor key are magically played in a major. Three part harmony's become two part harmony's, or worse yet, are sung in unison. The list goes on, and on.
I have never been more upset at my team than now, and guess who's fault it is?? Ultimately, it's mine. Why is it my fault?? I'm the leader. And as such, anything that happens within my ministry/department is my fault. Good or bad.
That's just the first rule of leadership. "EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT!"
Please don't take me wrong. My team, even when I am playing with them, are not professionals. They try their best, and do well with what they have. We all play for God, the church, and also for ourselves. We love what we do, and are not paid for it...yet, but love the result we see when God moves, and touches others. I am proud that they have taken the reigns, and have done their best to make worship service all it can be. Being their leader, and somewhat of a perfectionist, I just know they have so much more potential than what I see. Therefore, I get frustrated with what I see & hear, knowing they should be further than where they are today.
If and when God decides it's time for me to return to my ministry, I plan to be a better, more diligent & much tougher leader than before. Not because of a power trip, but because I care about doing the best I can, and making others better. If we are ever put in this position again, I want my team to be the best, and make this ministry run as though I was still there. They are that good, and I want to bring that out in them. That's what we do as leaders.....we lead....we develop.....we bring out the best in others.
I thank God for this time of trial, as I've grown closer to Him, my wife, my family, and my minsitry. I've learn more respect for my Pastor, the man of God, and pray for him more now than I ever have. All who read this, please also say a prayer for my Pastor, John Mascroft, as he is going through a storm within our church & his ministry. I know, as always, God will bring us through it all.
Take care, and God Bless